Text on this one says ‘Jesus Vows To Spring Prison Nun!’ Also, ‘No Convent Can Hold Her!’ and “I’m innocent!” The subject of this portrait must not have wanted to sit for this or was mad at the artist. That’s how these portraits end up at the flea market! No one wants a pissed off picture of themselves! She is probably called ‘Sunny’ by her friends, and is the smiliest lady around! But, my attempts to hang smiles on the angry usually end up in complete failure so I didn’t even try this time.The only logical thing to do was to turn her into a prison nun. Backed by a hurricane halo, she he is wearing an orange prison habit and is administering stigmata on herself with a shiv. Robocop nuns escort her by pinching her shoulder with painful ruler clamps. Jesus wails, reaching through the prison bars - he will spring her! The tears are prison tattoos, which indicate that she killed someone, so steer clear unless you want trouble! Is she really innocent? Maybe. But once you do a stretch in the convent, you come out hardened. Tough. Jesus’ love just isn’t enough to straighten you out - especially when you know he loves everyone else too.POSTBREEN
I have a huge pile of prebreens in my studio that I peruse every couple of days, seeing if any want to get chatty. I picked this one up a couple of days ago and it said: ’After admitting he was born in Kabul, Abe Lincoln threatened to burn the Bible IF George Washington continued with his plan to burn the Koran on CNN.’ Jesus lounges in a mouth/doorway, and says “It appears we are at an impasse.” Abe and George have sacred texts dangerously close to the flames. They have mixed symbols, and are both demonized, both sainted. This is an old fashioned, cartoony, chaotic, political breen.POSTBREEN
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Text says, ‘Only you can stop art fires! Buy this painting or I’ll burn it!’ The little girl asks, ‘Mister? You won’t let that bad man burn me will you?’ I say, “I’ll do it! You know I will!’ When I gazed on the prebreen for the first time, I flashed back about 40 years to a National Lampoon Magazine cover - My current subject has that same kind of look and cuteness quotient. 
Of course, burning a 2 dimensional scrap of canvas is much different than shooting a dog. In any case, this painting will not burn at my hands, since the reserve price on Ebay has already been acheived. However, IF YOU feel the urge to burn it, please, spend spend spend more than you can afford! That’s what credit cards are for, after all, to buy outlandishly priced paintings to BURN! To buy this work of breenius, go HERE. 
This is a deep diving Breen, jam-packed with juicy symbolic gimmickry! The only thing I am going to point out about this piece, which, in the future, even the most astute art historians will never discern, is that within the yin and yang of a box of Good n’ Plenty, the pink candies live in the full sun of life, while the evil white candies dwell in the Underworld and wander among the shades. POSTBREEN
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I’ve sold paintings to collectors all over the United States and Europe. Articles about my art have appeared in major US newspapers and magazines as well as internationally in Vogue Italia, The Guardian and Lufthansa in-flight magazine(weird!). My art is collected by a Texas rancher, government workers, teachers, more than a few lawyers, a McMurdo station worker(Antarctic), movie producer, ad agency guys, housewives, artists and lots of other off-kilter individuals it gratifies me to know are out there. And many of these people haven’t stopped at one, some buying as many as 30 paintings over the years.
If you want to know more about who I am, go to my ABOUT ME page, or just
My name is Eddie Breen, and I approve this art.
PREBREEN
Text says, ‘She’s a brick house but has no door!’ Old breens shouldn’t get too smug lying around my studio, because they’re apt to get the same treatment any other painting hanging around here is in for - another breening! This is a rebreen of an older breen I wasn’t real happy with and never actually considered finished. My original treatment was kind of whiney, which I have to watch, cause no one wants to hear that crap. Lately, I’ve been seeing ads for a new Rapunzel movie, so it spurred me to polish this one off. The original subject looked attractive but kind of unapproachable, like her guard was up, perhaps she’d been hurt too much in the past. So I bricked her into a fortress with no door! But you have to have access somehow, so I installed a Rapunzel window. Wolf butterfly huffs and puffs to blow her house in, but that doesn’t work too well on brick. In the middle of this Jesus tapped me on the shoulder and said,’Um, can I add something here?’ So I popped him in and he says, ‘You don’t need a door honey, just a golden stair!’ I guess I should explain this because neither Mrs. Breen or her friend Mrs. Allison got it. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair, so I may climb your golden stair!” Personally, due to all the fairy tale references, I think this would be a good painting for a child’s room! Also, this is the most signed breen in existence! There are at least 55 full signatures and many partial ones. By the way, this is the only painting in existence that has my nonbreen signature on it. My birth name is hidden in this work! And you could possibly own all this for a penny! But is has to be shiny! POSTBREEN
Painting is about 12”X15.5”, acrylic on oil or acrylic stretched canvas including painted frame, painted over an existing painting.
PREBREEN
This painting has been completely worked over, the only remaining uncovered piece is the left hand pupil as you look at it, though the light patch in the pupil is mine. I didn’t mean to completely cover him, he was a very good portrait, but my hand wants what it wants, and sometimes just keeps going! It’s vacation-time and jellyfish have been on my mind. I started this in Connecticut at the beach while my son shoveled up any errant jellyfish who had the misfortune to cross his path, throwing them in the seagrass. They were pretty thick in the water and I got stung on my ankles, so I began to cheer on his bad karma actions, and gave the boy in the portrait a jellyfish body. After I got home, I heard about the massive Lionsmane jellyfish the size of a trashcan lid with 50 foot tentacles found floating at a beach in Rye, NH. The lifeguard hauled it out of the water with a pitchfork but the tentacles broke off, stinging everyone who brushed up against them, 100 or so including 9 kids. People and jellyfish don’t mix, that’s all there is to it.
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Get it cheap while everyone is on vacation and no one is inside looking at a computer screen, except for you, you loser! Actually, don’t even bid. Turn off your computer right now and go outside, take a walk, ride your bike, go to the beach! It’s a beautiful day!
Are you still here? Good, because those suckers who just took my advice walked away from this contest. The first 3 people who email me with the 3 word text hidden within the painting, NOT MENTIONED in the ebay description, will be mailed an actual, gen-u-ine, signed, eddie breen painted stone, harvested off the beach in Gloucester, and tarted up by yours truly! Why go outside and collect beach stones when I can do it for you? And paint them and send them to you?Buy this Breen HERE.
PREBREEN<br>
<img src=http://www.eddiebreen.com/images/apo1.jpg><br><br>
Melissa W. has been bugging me for some time to do an oil spill breen, but for some reason the subject seemed too large to get my arms around until recently. The aquatic apocalypse elevates this from a simple case of pollution to a possible wiping out of all life, martyring all the life in the ocean. Every painter at some point in his career has to do an Apotheosis, and this is mine! If there was ever a case of elevating sea life to the devine, this is it!<br><br>
POSTBREEN<br>
<img src=http://www.eddiebreen.com/images/apo2.jpg>
